try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
