i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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