She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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