Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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