i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
