its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
