i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
