I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
