NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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