I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
