Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
