I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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