Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
