How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
