I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
