Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Drake has all the answers
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
