We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
