I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
