and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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