So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
