After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
