I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
