Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize