I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize