wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The Olympian is in my bed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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