I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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