dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
