You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
