I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I understand Curling. That high.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
