Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize