I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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