this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
