she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
