Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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