we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
