I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
