I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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