Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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