so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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