no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
