I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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