hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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