The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
