Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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