I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
