i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
