How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize