Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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