So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
