Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
