ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
