Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
