I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
