big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
