You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
