Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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