I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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