Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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