This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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